arrived into this big beautiful blue world.
We were scheduled for a c-section at 7:30am on Friday and arrived at the hospital at 6. Of course, the hospital got a new computer system 4 days earlier, so they lost our preregistration and we had to re-check in at the front desk. We got to our L&D room around 6:20 and by that time, all the nurses were all in a frantic hurry to get us ready. There were 6 different nurses asking questions at the same time and trying to stay calm though they thought "we were late" coming in.
Then to make matters worse, they realized that our information was actually in the system, but under Cyndy, instead of Cynthia so they had to start the process all over, adding more fuss to the already rushed morning... but they were wonderful - they got us checked in, hooked up and wheeling into surgery at 7:32am.
First, they started with a spinal tap. You'd think this would hurt, but compared to contractions it was a breeze. A bit like a zingy cold bee sting and within seconds my toes started feeling warm and tingly. Before I knew it, I was numb from the waste down. We had a great team of anesthesiologists, whose seemingly only concern (yeah, right!) was to help me stay calm. For some reason, I was. Completely calm. I think the naïvety of the situation really worked in my favor and I tried to soak up every conversation I could hear around the room. I wanted to remember as much of the unique experience I was about to go through as I could.
We had a huge team of doctors and nurses. There 2 were teams setup for the babies - 3 folks for each baby, 3 delivery doctors and their 4 assisting nurses, 3 anesthesiologists, 1 pediatrician, and I'm sure some other important people that I didn't count. And me. And the boys. In a small room, that seemed no larger that 500 square feet. Jason hadn't come in yet because they wanted to get me draped and all setup first, so it was a bit strange being alone but for some reason, I didn't mind it.
I remember hearing a nurse tell the resident doctor to be ready when Dr. Carter got in the room. They had "better know their stuff, or she'd eat them alive!" I loved hearing that. I love a woman in charge, especially when she's my primary caretaker. It was a pretty cool deal - I had the opportunity to be a test dummy with a doctor in their residency, and I am so glad I agreed to it. I'm all for teaching, even when I'm the one someone else is learning on! I hope they learned a lot from seeing and participating in a twin delivery and maybe they can be the person in charge later in life for some other mommy.
When Jason was finally allowed in the room the doctors got straight to work. It felt like a small earthquake rumbling behind the drape. They don't let you see what's happing below your waste (and rightly so) so, I focused on Jason and tried again to listen to all the conversations around the room. I didn't want my mind to run wild about what they were doing. For me, it is just best to not get too curious about all that stuff. Stay focused. Stay calm. I don't handle the idea of cutting and blood well, so it was best for me to go to my happy place.
Jason sat quietly, holding my hand and occasionally asking how I was doing. I can only imagine what was going through his mind. The doctors would ask questions about how I was feeling and if I was alright and I would just smile
and politely say I was doing fine :) And thank you. I was so grateful to have all these talented and smart folks focused on the boys and me. Thank you, thank you, thank you - for keeping them safe, for keeping me safe, for all your years of training, all coming together in this strange little room.
Then, there was a big shake, a laugh from a nurse (apparently my water bag broke all over the resident doctor) and a little bitty cry. My Pierce was born. They quickly showed us him in all his newness and then off he went to be checked on by his team of doctors.
Two minutes later, another little cry... my Barrett.
I got to see the boys get weighed in and wiped down and very quickly they worked to get Barrett to start nursing. We took our first picture then off to the milk bar he went. And he did it! Kid was a natural. He nursed for about 10 minutes as the doctors finished stitching me up and then we were all done. It was amazing how easy it was to slip back into nursing, and how grateful I was to be able to feed my baby.
It was one of the strangest experiences I've ever been through. I joked with Jason and remember saying that it was somewhat anti-climatic. He looked at me and said "You just gave birth to twins! That's totally anti-climactic!"
After having Travis through 41 hours of labor, dilating to 8cm's before getting an epidural, 2 trips to the hospital, extreme contractions, lots of sweating and the hardest workout of pushing out a baby, this seemed just SO different. I was able to semi-sleep the night before, shower in the morning, put on makeup, fix my hair and then walk into a hospital and 2 hours later, two new babies were in our arms... and I didn't have to do any hard work to get them here. So strange.
Having now had babies both ways, naturally and surgically, I am still so surprised at how different the experiences were. I really missed the hormone rush that I got with Travis' birth... right after he was born I swear I was on cloud 9. I was in love with everyone; the doctor, the nurse, our doula, definitely Jason and my sweet little raisin cone-head baby. This time, I was calm and in awe of the miracle of what had just happened, but it felt more like an out of body experience than something so all consuming.
Which do I prefer? Hands down the natural birth because of the high. But for ease, predictability and function, the cesarian was ideal. I didn't miss the contractions, or the extreme focus I had to find to make it through that pain, but I did miss the whole birthing part. With the cesarian, I got to skip the 5 course meal and went straight to dessert rather than savoring the the appetizer, the soup, the juicy steak, the salad and then enjoying the dessert. Either way, I do love dessert. It's the best part of the meal.
I'm just so glad they are here and healthy. That's what really matters :)
All my boys have been doing well. We are trying really hard to keep Travis involved. He's helped burp his brothers, he's tried to give them their binkies, he's helped watch change diapers and he seems to be adjusting well. He loves to kiss them. On the mouth. Yay for their immune system getting early exposure - day care kisses are the finest :)
Jason is an energizer bunny. He has been the primary diaper changer and burp-er in our house. I am feeding the kids 8 or so times a day (at the same time) so I'm often stuck in my chair while he tends to one baby or the other. I'm really glad that the nursing bit has gone so well - it was a huge concern of mine. How the hell do you feed two humans at the same time? A lot of help, practice and as much patience as you can muster. Since the boys are now eating at the same time, they sleep at the same time, poop at the same time and cry at the same time, so it's made life a lot easier than when they were on their own schedules and I was the never ending snack machine.
We've been blessed to have family here every day since we've come home. Cindy, Keri and Ashley have stayed here this week and they were all are so helpful. I just don't know what I would do without them. Cindy especially - she's stayed up every night with the kids so Jason and I can get some sleep. She's also been busy doing dishes, washing, drying and folding laundry, cooking and cleaning and does it without me having to ask. It has made a world of difference in helping us be able to focus on how to manage these little people. Especially when you can get 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep. I'm actually sleeping more now than I did in my 3rd trimester. When I lay down, I'm so tired, it takes no time at all to fall asleep. And, since I don't have 2 babies jumping on my bladder, I can actually stay asleep versus getting up to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes.
Okay, that's enough for now. I can barely hold my eyes open anymore.
Sorry if there are typos or bad formatting. I give up on proof reading when I'm this sleepy.
I'll try to catch up on all the other good stuff that's happened in the last 12 days. Soon.
So much fun.
xoxo, CB
