Party time!

My boys are turning 2! How did this happen so fast??

I loved the party for the twins... Bug themed and it was so much fun seeing all our friends!

Happy birthday Barrett & Pierce! 

CB 

(...what would have been) 40 Weeks!

Today, the twins would have been 40 weeks!! 

Instead my little boys will be 3 weeks old tomorrow!  Life at the Bagley house has been in a constant state of movement.  

We have been feeding, sleeping (some,) burping, diapering, swaddling, cooking, laundering, washing, oh my.

So many -ings.    

Luckily, Jason's mom, sister and my mom have been here almost non-stop.  This is actually only the 2nd night since we have come home from the hospital that someone hasn't been here with us to help with the boys.

Random thoughts: today, I mowed the lawn.  It felt so good to be outside in the grassy air.  Small victories to normalcy.  We made dinner (shrimp and veggies, eeeehhhh...) then, Travis and I visited two of our pregnant neighbors to deliver some baby gifts.

After our visits, Travis had a colossal meltdown.  Probably the biggest, worst one he has ever had.  Jason gave him a bath while I was nursing the little boys, so I didn't see it, but he tells me that he got himself so worked up that he actually scared himself.  Poor guy was beyond tired - we stayed out too late with the neighbors and it threw off his schedule big time.  That boy does best when he is in bed by 8, not starting his bath at 8.  It's amazing how fast time flies when you're living your life in 2 1/2 - 3 hour increments between feedings.  The time just got away from me and my sweet boy melted down because I was being yappy.  Sorry buddy, I will try to be better.  I was just enjoying getting caught up with our friends again and got distracted!  Bad mommy  :)

Twin news:
Barrett lost his umbilical cord on day 9, Pierce on day 11.  Yay!
The boys got their first baths on day 12 - for some reason, I was absolutely not as stressed about bathing this time around.  Practice makes perfect, I guess... and the newness of dealing with a newborn was all soaked up by Travis, so my confidence level was much higher with these two.  They both are water babies thus far, barely a peep of crying and they both seem so peaceful when the water goes down their little faces.  So so sweet.

(Pierce)

(Barrett)

At their 2 week check up last week, they were both back up to their birth weights.   

Actually, they both SURPASSED their birth weights!  

Pierce was 6 pounds 7.5ounces, Barrett 5 pounds 7.5 ounces. 

They seem so big to me.

As they grow, it's amazing to watch how their dispositions are developing.  I am trying really hard not to label them - "this one is the quiet one, this one is the happy one, this one is the grumpy one, this one is the whiny one" but it is funny to see how different they are.  You'll have to get to know them and you can make up your own mind on if you think they are different.  I am still in awe to be so consumed in love for these people that I have only known for what seems like minutes.

What else, what else...
Nursing.  Well, it is definitely easier this time around, but it still sucks.  Pierce has a really shallow latch but is a great eater.  Barrett has a fantastic latch, but falls asleep mid-feeding almost every time.  I'm nursing them tandem (thank, God.) so we are able to a bit of life in the middle of the 3 hour milking sessions.  Still, it's an adjustment physically and that just takes time... so as much as it hurts right now, it isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things.  They have been exclusively breast feed this whole time, which I am so pleased about... all those good antibodies and fats and lipids and whatnot.  Magical baby milk.

What else -
We made our first out of town trip this past weekend.  We went to San Antonio for 3 days over Easter to be with family.  It was lovely lovely lovely.  So nice to have so much family in one place.  The Easter bunny came, and Travis had a BLAST hunting for eggs.  His cousins were so sweet helping him find eggs.  It was one of those moments in time that was just priceless.  I don't know what it is about Easter - probably the fair weather and the relaxed nature of the day and the oh-so-sweet outfits that I love, but I think it is one of the friendliest & happiest days of the year.  Yay, Jesus.

My little ones need to eat... so off I go.  Sweet dreams,

xoxo, CB

Welcome Pierce & Barrett!

On April 4th, 2014 at 8:02am and 8:04am 

my two sweet boys, Pierce & Barrett 

arrived into this big beautiful blue world.  

We were scheduled for a c-section at 7:30am on Friday and arrived at the hospital at 6.  Of course, the hospital got a new computer system 4 days earlier, so they lost our preregistration and we had to re-check in at the front desk.  We got to our L&D room around 6:20 and by that time, all the nurses were all in a frantic hurry to get us ready.  There were 6 different nurses asking questions at the same time and trying to stay calm though they thought "we were late" coming in.  

Then to make matters worse, they realized that our information was actually in the system, but under Cyndy, instead of Cynthia so they had to start the process all over, adding more fuss to the already rushed morning... but they were wonderful - they got us checked in, hooked up and wheeling into surgery at 7:32am. 

First, they started with a spinal tap.  You'd think this would hurt, but compared to contractions it was a breeze.  A bit like a zingy cold bee sting and within seconds my toes started feeling warm and tingly.  Before I knew it, I was numb from the waste down.  We had a great team of anesthesiologists, whose seemingly only concern (yeah, right!) was to help me stay calm.  For some reason, I was.  Completely calm.  I think the naïvety of the situation really worked in my favor and I tried to soak up every conversation I could hear around the room.  I wanted to remember as much of the unique experience I was about to go through as I could.   

We had a huge team of doctors and nurses.  There 2 were teams setup for the babies - 3 folks for each baby, 3 delivery doctors and their 4 assisting nurses, 3 anesthesiologists, 1 pediatrician, and I'm sure some other important people that I didn't count.  And me.  And the boys.  In a small room, that seemed no larger that 500 square feet.  Jason hadn't come in yet because they wanted to get me draped and all setup first, so it was a bit strange being alone but for some reason, I didn't mind it.  

I remember hearing a nurse tell the resident doctor to be ready when Dr. Carter got in the room.  They had "better know their stuff, or she'd eat them alive!"  I loved hearing that.  I love a woman in charge, especially when she's my primary caretaker.   It was a pretty cool deal - I had the opportunity to be a test dummy with a doctor in their residency, and I am so glad I agreed to it.  I'm all for teaching, even when I'm the one someone else is learning on!  I hope they learned a lot from seeing and participating in a twin delivery and maybe they can be the person in charge later in life for some other mommy. 

When Jason was finally allowed in the room the doctors got straight to work.  It felt like a small earthquake rumbling behind the drape.  They don't let you see what's happing below your waste (and rightly so) so, I focused on Jason and tried again to listen to all the conversations around the room.  I didn't want my mind to run wild about what they were doing.  For me, it is just best to not get too curious about all that stuff.  Stay focused.  Stay calm.  I don't handle the idea of cutting and blood well, so it was best for me to go to my happy place.  

Jason sat quietly, holding my hand and occasionally asking how I was doing.  I can only imagine what was going through his mind.  The doctors would ask questions about how I was feeling and if I was alright and I would just smile

and politely say I was doing fine :) And thank you.  I was so grateful to have all these talented and smart folks focused on the boys and me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you - for keeping them safe, for keeping me safe, for all your years of training, all coming together in this strange little room. 

Then, there was a big shake, a laugh from a nurse (apparently my water bag broke all over the resident doctor) and a little bitty cry.  My Pierce was born.  They quickly showed us him in all his newness and then off he went to be checked on by his team of doctors.  

Two minutes later, another little cry... my Barrett.  

I got to see the boys get weighed in and wiped down and very quickly they worked to get Barrett to start nursing.  We took our first picture then off to the milk bar he went.  And he did it!  Kid was a natural.  He nursed for about 10 minutes as the doctors finished stitching me up and then we were all done.  It was amazing how easy it was to slip back into nursing, and how grateful I was to be able to feed my baby.   

It was one of the strangest experiences I've ever been through.  I joked with Jason and remember saying that it was somewhat anti-climatic.  He looked at me and said "You just gave birth to twins!  That's totally anti-climactic!"  

After having Travis through 41 hours of labor, dilating to 8cm's before getting an epidural, 2 trips to the hospital, extreme contractions, lots of sweating and the hardest workout of pushing out a baby, this seemed just SO different.  I was able to semi-sleep the night before, shower in the morning, put on makeup, fix my hair and then walk into a hospital and 2 hours later, two new babies were in our arms... and I didn't have to do any hard work to get them here.  So strange.  

Having now had babies both ways, naturally and surgically, I am still so surprised at how different the experiences were.  I really missed the hormone rush that I got with Travis' birth... right after he was born I swear I was on cloud 9.  I was in love with everyone; the doctor, the nurse, our doula, definitely Jason and my sweet little raisin cone-head baby.  This time, I was calm and in awe of the miracle of what had just happened, but it felt more like an out of body experience than something so all consuming.  

Which do I prefer?  Hands down the natural birth because of the high.  But for ease, predictability and function, the cesarian was ideal.  I didn't miss the contractions, or the extreme focus I had to find to make it through that pain, but I did miss the whole birthing part.  With the cesarian, I got to skip the 5 course meal and went straight to dessert rather than savoring the the appetizer, the soup, the juicy steak, the salad and then enjoying the dessert.  Either way, I do love dessert.  It's the best part of the meal. 

I'm just so glad they are here and healthy.  That's what really matters :) 

All my boys have been doing well.  We are trying really hard to keep Travis involved.  He's helped burp his brothers, he's tried to give them their binkies, he's helped watch change diapers and he seems to be adjusting well.  He loves to kiss them.  On the mouth.  Yay for their immune system getting early exposure - day care kisses are the finest :) 

Jason is an energizer bunny.  He has been the primary diaper changer and burp-er in our house.  I am feeding the kids 8 or so times a day (at the same time) so I'm often stuck in my chair while he tends to one baby or the other.  I'm really glad that the nursing bit has gone so well - it was a huge concern of mine.  How the hell do you feed two humans at the same time? A lot of help, practice and as much patience as you can muster.    Since the boys are now eating at the same time, they sleep at the same time, poop at the same time and cry at the same time, so it's made life a lot easier than when they were on their own schedules and I was the never ending snack machine.  

We've been blessed to have family here every day since we've come home.  Cindy, Keri and Ashley have stayed here this week and they were all are so helpful.  I just don't know what I would do without them.  Cindy especially - she's stayed up every night with the kids so Jason and I can get some sleep.  She's also been busy doing dishes, washing, drying and folding laundry, cooking and cleaning and does it without me having to ask.  It has made a world of difference in helping us be able to focus on how to manage these little people.  Especially when you can get 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep.  I'm actually sleeping more now than I did in my 3rd trimester.  When I lay down, I'm so tired, it takes no time at all to fall asleep.  And, since I don't have 2 babies jumping on my bladder, I can actually stay asleep versus getting up to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes.

Okay, that's enough for now.  I can barely hold my eyes open anymore.  

Sorry if there are typos or bad formatting.  I give up on proof reading when I'm this sleepy. 

I'll try to catch up on all the other good stuff that's happened in the last 12 days.  Soon.

So much fun.  

xoxo, CB

37 Weeks

I missed you too...

It was only a week ago, but so much has changed this week that it feels like a lifetime ago.

Last Thursday night, we hit FULL TERM twin status.  What a surprise!  All the doctors we meet along the way told us that we likely would deliver before I got to 37 weeks - haha, they were all wrong (and so was I!)

My body started making very obvious changes two weeks ago, Friday.  For lack of a better way to explain it, my champagne bottle popped it's cork on March 21st.  I'm not going to go into any more graphic detail on that one.  Regardless, once it happened, it is said, that you could go into labor within "minutes, hours or weeks" so, I called Jason and put him on High Alert.  Unfortunately, it is a really tough indicator of when you'll go into labor, but I had it in my mind that these babies would be coming sooner than our 4-4-14 scheduled delivery date.

For the next two weeks I went into crazy prepare mode - making lists at work, making lists at home, savoring every single "last dinner" and we waited, and we waited, and we waited.  Week after week, there were a few changes, both up and down - I would dilate a little here, a little there, I'd be 40% effaced, then 70% effaced, then 40 again.  As I rested more, my cervix would squish (efface) and unsquish like a coke can, all the while, the babies were able to keep developing and growing.

3 weeks ago we were told that Barrett (Baby "B") was getting too small compared to Pierce (Baby "A") and if they didn't see marked growth they would have an emergency c-section on April 1st.  I chuckled to myself as I made the appointment, because I truly didn't think we would make it to April 1st!  Then there were some complications with Barrett's heart rate - it spiked about a week before they were delivered, so every 3 days I would go back to the doctor for more tests to monitor how they were doing.  It was extremely stressful to try to keep calm through all of the changes, but it all worked out, as it seems it always does.

Finally, April 1st came and to our relief, the boys looked good to the sonogram doctors.  They were growing, still small compared to all the mythical babies in "rate your baby against all the others" sizing terms, but they looked healthy.  I believe they were both somewhere in the 17-35th percentile.  My little bits.  So we counted down the hours until our Friday c-section...

Thank God for my Jason.

As much as he DROVE ME NUTS keeping me off my feet and nagging (yes, NAGGING) me to sit and stop doing so much, I truly believe that much of the health of these babies is because of him.  I over-do-it.  I push myself to do to much... just one more thing... and when it comes to the lives of 2 other people (and mine, sort of) it really was a blessing to have a partner, that took the job of keeping all of us safe, very very seriously.

He is the most annoying and wonderful love of my life :)  I am truly honored to be his wife.  I married a man that is loving, giving and selfless.  He makes me so happy.   YAY, HORMONES.  I'm gushy :)

Here we are, in our last family photo as a family of 3, the night before our two little boys were delivered.

Travis and Nana's Giraffe 

 I only wonder, how long would they have cooked if we hadn't had our cesarian the next day.  

I'm so glad we did, it was a completely different experience than Travis' birth, but I think I'll always wonder. 

That's all for now - soon, I'll fill you in on P&B's birthday.  

Whenever I can keep my eyes open long enough to type and click :) 

xoxo, CB.

Side Belly

  

36 Weeks

It just keeps getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger!

But I love it.  

Mama this is a little love for you - recognize the shirt?   

(she wore it when she was pregnant with me) 

It is one of the softest shirts I own. 

Oh, holy geez. 

Yay for terrible cell phone pictures :) 

Still glad I have them. 

TWIN NEWS

We had 2 heart rate tests this week.  

Baby B (we've decided to call him Barrett!) had a super active heart rate on Tuesday - it was in the 180's and they like it to be in the 140-150's so we've been keeping an eye on him to make sure he's not under any distress. 

Today, I went back and all things were good - they were both in the 140's! YAY!

I blame the spicy jalopeno kolache and the orange juice I ate right before the test on Tuesday as to why he was so active.  Poor little guy either loves or hates sugar and spice!

Next Tuesday (April Fool's Day) I go back for a sonogram to check their weight and placentas.  

Barrett was 6% smaller than Pierce (yep, that's baby A's name) so they want to make sure he's getting enough nutrients through his placenta.  

If things look non-ideal, we will do an emergency c-section that day.  

I think as long as they stay within 10% of each others weight, the doctors won't worry too much about it.  The docs have been carefully watching these little boys so I feel like we are in good hands and the fact that they've been able to hang on and mature this long is amazing! 

If things look okay on Tuesday, we will wait until Friday 4/4 to deliver them.  

Either way, will likely have very little NICU time if they're born this week.  

I'm reveling in the last few days of being pregnant.  

It makes me sad to think that this could be my last pregnancy - but I'm not going to stress about that.  

If it's meant to be that 4 boys will now rule my life, I'll take it.  

So happy to have them all healthy.

Lots of love, CB.   

35 Weeks

Helllllllloooooo 35 weeks.  So happy to see you.  

Of the 3 twin mommies that I have recently talked to, they all had their babies in week 35.  Does this mean I will too?  I don't know - but I can tell you I'm feeling different... my body is giving signs that these babies aren't too far off, but it is just silly to speculate.  They will be here when they want to be here - good news is, we've made it past the most critical points and any extra time they incubate from this point, is just gravy.  

I would LOVE to make it all the way to 4/4, but I just have a feeling that will not happen.  I'm truly thinking any day now.  We'll see.  Last time I said that with Travis, I was wrong too!   

TWIN STATS

Baby A: 5.2lbs 

Baby B: 4.8lbs

They're both still breech so the C-Section is still on. 

And... no, we don't have names yet.  They will come when they come too.  

Anyhow, for your viewing pleasure - here are some big 'ole belly photos. 

There you go... I hate having my picture taken, but I know I would have regretted not being able to look back on these later. 

Lots of Love, CB